Category: Helping Others Connect With God

Asking Good Questions Part 1

6/1/2016

Someone once asked random people what is the most valuable thing you have ever lost? Here are some of their responses:

Respect for my parents.
1964 1/2 Ford Mustang, I let it sit in my parent’s driveway too long, and never transferred the title back to me, and it was sold one day.
My virginity.
My grandmother's diamond and pearl ring she gave to me.
My mind.
My complete set of Mage comic books autographed by Matt Wagner.
Nikon camera on a train.
At least 20 of my favorite CD's...on a BART train in SF. This was in the days before Ipods and I was carrying them around in disc wallet thing...some lady sat down next to me (on top of them) and I didn't realize until I had already gotten off the train.... I was devastated!!
My dad gave me his wedding band from when my parents were married.
I went on a 2 week vacation to all these way cool spots and got all these sweet pictures and at the end of the vacation I ended my cousins wedding on the east coast. Was trying to figure out how to take the flash off and here I accidentally deleted like 50 pictures; some of the memorial moments I've had.

When you ask good questions it is the most valuable thing you can do for you group.

Three Secrets to Great Questions
Secret #1: Ask open-ended questions!

Avoid the yes-no, true-false, multiple-choice questions (“Is Jesus the sheep or the shepherd in this parable?”)
Avoid questions that let people off the hook with a simple “Sunday school answer” (“Why did Jesus die on the cross?”)
Ask questions that require people to have to share some actual thoughts and feelings (“Which of the challenges the author mentioned has been the most difficult one for you in this past year? Where are some ways that you have done well in overcoming that challenge?”)

Secret #2: Ask follow-up questions!

Many people default to trying to stay pretty surface level with their levels, so get in the habit of not letting them off the hook—ask more follow-up questions.
Here are some examples of good follow-up questions for short/simple answers people give:
- What makes you say that?
- How do you feel about that? o How do you think that would’ve affected you if you had been living in the time of Jesus?
- How would you explain your answer to a non-Christian friend or neighbor?
- Try to get at the core of what people are really trying to say.

Secret #3: Make sure the rubber hits the road!

I often tell my small group that by the end of the night, we need to make sure we apply what we’re discussing to our current lives— otherwise we just leave group a little smarter, rather than with changed lives!
Whatever it is you’re discussing, make sure to end with some application questions. Here are some examples:
So what in the world does that have to do with our lives today?
- How can you change your perspective from today on regarding that issue?
- What one thing can you do differently in this next week to start living that out?
- Some groups will add some accountability to that last question, recording what members share, and asking them to report back the next week

Read Post #2 About Asking Good Questions
Read Post #3 About Asking Good Questions

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There are lots of things that happen in groups: the study of Scripture, praying for one another, eating food, serving each other, serving our community, and many other great things. I believe the most valuable aspect of groups though is the development of relationships with other people. I believe at the core what makes groups work is people connecting with one another.

As you are starting to host your new group over the next couple of weeks, I want to strongly encourage you to put most of your time and energy in building relationships in your groups. It is people relationship with you and others that is what is going to bring them back. So give yourself permission to focus on building relationships over the next couple months. The curriculum your group was given has opportunities to read and study the Bible together and to pray with one another. However, do not think you are your group is causally hanging out, eating together, or just having fun as a group as wasted time, instead this it is are valuable moments as group. They are important relational investments.

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Asking Good Questions Part 1

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