A conversation between Pastor John and Pastor Zach about our new series, Restless.  In the conversation we share a couple of tools on how to help your group care for others well.  

Read Previous Asking Good Questions Part 1 Part 2

Preparing Dynamic Questions 
Let's look at an example from Mark 4:35-41
On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side.” And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling.  But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?” And they were filled with great fear and said to one another,“Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?” 

• Launch Questions :: To cultivate interest in the group time by allowing to share in the conversation
  Have you ever experienced a natural disaster?
  
  
• Dig Questions :: Help the group dig into God’s Word to discover what it says.
  What did the disciples learn about Jesus from this experience?
  
  
• Engage Questions :: Help the group wrestle with the meaning of this passage to us today.
  How does this affect our faith?
  
  
• Become Questions :: Helps us personalize God’s Word in their hearts.
  Why is God often the last person we turn to in hard times?
  
  
• Do Questions :: Challenges the group not to be content with just internalizing the passage but rather living it out.
  How do we help each other trust Jesus in hard times?

Try It Out
1. Write out 5 – 10 questions before your group meeting and run them past another facilitator you respect.



2. Look for ways to ask fewer questions to create dialogue in your group.

Read Previous Asking Good Questions Part 1
Closed Questions vs. Open Questions 
During the two sub-par meetings, Peter focused entirely on the Bible passage. We covered the book of Jonah, so Peter asked, "Where did Jonah flee?" "To a ship bound for Tarshish," a member replied. "Great answer," said Peter. "Anyone else?" Silence. "Why did Jonah flee?" asked Peter. "Because he was disobedient," said another member. Peter tried to get more people to talk. "Would anyone else like to share?" A few mumbled a variation of the same answer, but when all was said and done, there was only one answer: Jonah was disobedient.

Peter listened well, gave positive feedback, and did everything right. What more could the group say? There was basically only one answer to give. Jonah fled because he was disobedient. Someone might have added a few more adjectives like, "Jonah was gravely disobedient," but why bother? Even a superb, highly trained leader could not elicit more discussion from the question. Peter could have waited in silence for an hour, hoping for someone else to talk, and we had have sat there in silence with him.

I talked to Peter a few days later. I shared with him my own failures and discoveries—especially in the area of asking questions.

Fortunately, something clicked in Peter, and the next lesson was excellent. We covered Psalm 46:1, "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Peter began with a few closed, observation questions to help us understand the biblical text. But this time he quickly applied the passage to our lives with questions like, "When was the last time you had a crisis? How did you handle it?" Peter followed with another application question, "How did God become a refuge in your life through your crisis?"

Everyone had something to share. "Many years ago I administered the most successful tailoring business in the country," Paul began. "I loved my job and even made suits for the President. At the height of my success, the doctors told me it was either my health or my job, so I had to leave it. But God… "

Then Carol shared, "Recently, my daughter Mary said she'd be home at 10 p.m., but at 1 a.m. she still hadn't arrived. I'm a nervous person anyway, but this time I was beyond myself. Through prayer, God began to… " Our group shared deeply that night. We bore each other's burdens. We came away edified, encouraged, and eager for more.

Preparing the right questions before you start the meeting can give you assurance that the discussion will be lively and dynamic. Closed questions have only one correct answer. When a leader uses too many of them, he positions himself as a Bible expert who's trying to discover the brightest, most Biblically literate students. Open-ended questions, on the other hand, elicit discussion and sharing. There is more than one right answer. Open-ended questions stir cell members to apply biblical truths to their own lives.

Read Post #3 About Asking Good Questions

Someone once asked random people what is the most valuable thing you have ever lost? Here are some of their responses:

• Respect for my parents.
• 1964 1/2 Ford Mustang, I let it sit in my parent’s driveway too long, and never transferred the title back to me, and it was sold one day.
• My virginity.
• My grandmother's diamond and pearl ring she gave to me.
• My mind.
• My complete set of Mage comic books autographed by Matt Wagner.
• Nikon camera on a train.
• At least 20 of my favorite CD's...on a BART train in SF. This was in the days before Ipods and I was carrying them around in disc wallet thing...some lady sat down next to me (on top of them) and I didn't realize until I had already gotten off the train.... I was devastated!!
• My dad gave me his wedding band from when my parents were married.
• I went on a 2 week vacation to all these way cool spots and got all these sweet pictures and at the end of the vacation I ended my cousins wedding on the east coast. Was trying to figure out how to take the flash off and here I accidentally deleted like 50 pictures; some of the memorial moments I've had.

When you ask good questions it is the most valuable thing you can do for you group.

​Three Secrets to Great Questions
Secret #1: Ask open-ended questions!

• Avoid the yes-no, true-false, multiple-choice questions (“Is Jesus the sheep or the shepherd in this parable?”)
• Avoid questions that let people off the hook with a simple “Sunday school answer” (“Why did Jesus die on the cross?”)
• Ask questions that require people to have to share some actual thoughts and feelings (“Which of the challenges the author mentioned has been the most difficult one for you in this past year? Where are some ways that you have done well in overcoming that challenge?”)

Secret #2: Ask follow-up questions! 

• Many people default to trying to stay pretty surface level with their levels, so get in the habit of not letting them off the hook—ask more follow-up questions.
• Here are some examples of good follow-up questions for short/simple answers people give:
  • What makes you say that?
  • How do you feel about that? o How do you think that would’ve affected you if you had been living in the time of Jesus?
  • How would you explain your answer to a non-Christian friend or neighbor?
  • Try to get at the core of what people are really trying to say.

Secret #3: Make sure the rubber hits the road!

• I often tell my small group that by the end of the night, we need to make sure we apply what we’re discussing to our current lives— otherwise we just leave group a little smarter, rather than with changed lives! 
• Whatever it is you’re discussing, make sure to end with some application questions. Here are some examples:
• So what in the world does that have to do with our lives today?
  • How can you change your perspective from today on regarding that issue?
  • What one thing can you do differently in this next week to start living that out?
  • Some groups will add some accountability to that last question, recording what members share, and asking them to report back the next week

Read Post #2 About Asking Good Questions
Read Post #3 About Asking Good Questions

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